Loxly

Archive for March 2010

There are birthdays and there are the “anniversaries” and I know that even as time passes they don’t get easier… even if we want them to. So on “those days” (for me today is one for Chris) I try to do something that reminds the world about how special those we love are and how hard it is when they are gone.

It’s been easier to deal with adults that leave us, my dad, my sister – but even when your children are adults it tears your heart out and leaves a whole to big to fill. Even when your life finds a new path, and that path is a good one, there are still times when the memories and the pain resurface.

I write this because life it too short to not acknowledge the pain, take a day with the memories, do something that honors that child (brother, uncle) that you lost and understand that it is still ok to grieve even though it makes those around you feel sad that they can’t “fix it”.

Chris was my life, especially after his brother died. He was a quietly wonderful man, he drew (I don’t have his drawings), he played Gemstone IV online incessantly, he was an actor (which is why he loved the online roleplaying). So I don’t have anything “tangible” from him, but great memories of his love for animals, his love for his nephew, his passion for acting.

Some of you met him in person or virtually. He was part of your lives too. Today we can grieve again and tell people to listen to the Doors (he was a huge Jim Morrison fan) and have a shot of Stoli…. and remember that life is just too short.

(Chris left us this day in 2006 – he had been in the hospital for a few days, he went back home with his girlfriend, they got up in the morning and he had trouble breathing. She went to get him a drink and when she came back in the room he had stopped breathing. She did CPR, called 911, but it was done. He died quietly and quickly.)

For Chris

Posted on: March 5, 2010

There are birthdays and there are the “anniversaries” and I know that even as time passes they don’t get easier… even if we want them to. So on “those days” (for me today is one for Chris) I try to do something that reminds the world about how special those we love are and how hard it is when they are gone.

It’s been easier to deal with adults that leave us, my dad, my sister – but even when your children are adults it tears your heart out and leaves a whole to big to fill. Even when your life finds a new path, and that path is a good one, there are still times when the memories and the pain resurface.

I write this because life it too short to not acknowledge the pain, take a day with the memories, do something that honors that child (brother, uncle) that you lost and understand that it is still ok to grieve even though it makes those around you feel sad that they can’t “fix it”.

Chris was my life, especially after his brother died. He was a quietly wonderful man, he drew (I don’t have his drawings), he played Gemstone IV online incessantly, he was an actor (which is why he loved the online roleplaying). So I don’t have anything “tangible” from him, but great memories of his love for animals, his love for his nephew, his passion for acting.

Some of you met him in person or virtually. He was part of your lives too. Today we can grieve again and tell people to listen to the Doors (he was a huge Jim Morrison fan) and have a shot of Stoli…. and remember that life is just too short.



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  • maisoto56348: I really liked King Hereafter, where the sparse saga style suited the characters and the setting. It’s one of my favourite books. Click
  • Jan: Deborah; You already have your wings, now you just need to fly. I am humbled. You gave your boys life--and they continue to live through you. Just a
  • Peggy: Deb, you make me smile and cry at the same time. ((hugs))